How can a single girl convince her boy friend to hold on and not have sex with her until they're married?
This article is a very hard one for me to publish after i got this question from one of my reader because as a young child from a christian background it is what i was taught Trust me, it is a challenging truth to obey and keep, but it is possible to abstain. Ya' all young girls out there can attest to this but the truth must always be said. Remember i am not judging anyone, but to those who knows and see this truth can stick to it and pass it on to younger generations. There are so many reasons why a single girls should not engage in pre-marital sex. The Bible clearly condemns sex prior to marriage and I will also offer several other reasons why it is important that you convince your boyfriend that he must wait for marriage before engaging in sex.
1. The relationship almost always leads to a break up because once the man's need for sex is satisfied outside marriage; the less he has need for the marriage. Sexual feelings are pleasurable feelings, the pleasure wanes when the biological force of sex, which attracted the man, in the first place loses its power. The curiosity and the expectancy that comes with waiting for sex after marriage disappears the minute a woman gives in to sex before marriage.
2. There is the difficulty of discerning the difference between infatuation and true love. The man who shows a lady a lot of attention initially will cool off the minute a woman consents to having sex with him. He might continue to show the attention for as long as she is still giving in to him. When couples engage in premarital sex they tend to stay together for the sex and not because they share common goals, interests and values.
3. Problems are hidden away when unmarried couples engage in sex. The problems they might see are often masked by the pleasures they are getting from the pre- marital sex they are engaged in. When they eventually get married they discover these flaws and shortcomings and begin to have serious problems in their marriages.
4. Embarrassment and guilt are feelings most people get after they have engaged in pre-marital sex. People who give into sex before marriage feel ashamed and angry with themselves for having given into the other person's pressure to have sex. These feelings can be mild but sometimes it is quite severe and can affect the relationship negatively
5. You lose your virginity the minute you have sex. This is lost forever. Besides the men who most times put pressure on the ladies for sex are the same ones who would rather marry virgins yet they are quite prepared to sleep with as many women as come their way. This should be a pointer to ladies that their virginity is important and should be intact until after marriage.
6. The possibility of getting pregnant is high. When a lady engages in pre-marital sex she might get pregnant even from the very first time she sleeps with the man. When this happens the man who is probably not ready emotionally and financially for marriage would find the thought of the added responsibility of a baby too much to bear and he would simply deny the pregnancy or just refuse to marry the lady again. The lady now becomes saddled with the challenges of being a single parent. In some cases the man might ask the lady to abort the pregnancy and this might lead to complications that may result in infertility in future or death. If the couple agree to keep the pregnancy and get married it equally has its own upsets because then the couple would not have spent time alone together to enjoy each other at least for a while before the babies start coming. This often leads to frustrations and unhappiness.
7. AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and other sexually transmitted diseases are easily spread through sexual intercourse. A lady might be sure of her state of good health but might be oblivious of the man's state of health. If she chooses or is pressured into having sex she might contract either of the above diseases that will lead to major problems for her for the rest of her life. One instance of sexual pleasure before marriage is not worth the lifetime of pain and fear a lady might go through. However, if they both wait for marriage before engaging in sex then both should have had tests done to determine their state of health and should thereafter remain faithful to each other to avoid contracting infections from multiple partners.
8. Pre-marital sex might jeopardize a lifetime of fidelity within the sacred bonds of marriage especially when partners have been used to sleeping around with others. They then find it difficult to stick to only one person for the rest of their lives. However, when either parties have kept away from pre-marital sex then the chances of remaining faithful to each other in marriage and enjoying sex with that one wife or husband is higher and greatly reduces the chances of extra-marital sex.
9. It might cause one to lose respect for the other and jeopardize the person's reputation. Some men put pressure on the ladies to have sex with them not only for the pleasure they will derive but also to test and see if she is mature, respectable and determined enough to say no. Once she consents, he will have his way and henceforth lose respect for her. If unfortunately for the lady the man is immature then he will brag about the fact that she gave in to him and probably describe the whole episode to his friends. We all know it is such a small world and in no time the lady's reputation will be ruined. This will spoil her chances of finding a man willing to marry her later in life.
10. The honeymoon loses its value when the couples have already engaged in pre-marital sex. There is nothing special to look forward to because they have engaged in sex before marriage and all the expectations of a blissful discovery of each other sexually would have been taken away.
11. It destroys your relationship with God. Pre-marital sex is sin and it is sexual immorality and is called fornication. God warns us as His children to desist from it. And to flee every appearance of evil. 1 Corinthians 6: 18 states, Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, and you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are Gods 1 Thessalonians 4: 3 states,For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality. Revelations 2: 21-23 states And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent. Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their deeds. I will kill her children with death and all the churches will know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.