Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Still Wondering What Men Think if You Have Sex on the First Date ? Check This Out

We've covered why you might want to wait before diving into bed with someone, and we've also chatted about how many people actually do the deed on date numero uno. But what do guys think if, after your first time hanging out, you get straight to the action?
I consulted a few guys in my life on this, ahem, touchy subject.Specifically, I wanted to know if having sex on the first date would make them lose interest in a woman or make them respect her less. Luckily, their responses just reinforced that they're awesome men I'm lucky to know. Here's what they had to say:

Guy 1: "As a disclaimer, assuming I like the girl, I would always have sex with her on the first date. The only time I wouldn't is if we didn't hit it off or I didn't want to complicate things before I figured out how I feel. And even if I didn't really like her but she was pushing to have sex, I'd be hard-pressed to stop myself. [Hard-pressed? I see what you did there. —ZB] I definitely would not respect her less and even if the sex was bad, I'd want to see her again. Obviously sex is important, but bad sex on the first date wouldn't be a deal-breaker. If I felt good about her then I'd ask her out again, regardless of how she is in bed."

Guy 2: "I wouldn't care if we had sex on the first date. Obviously waiting can add to the excitement, but it wouldn't make me less interested in her as long as the sex was good. As for losing respect for her, that would be pretty hypocritical."

Guy 3: "Whether I go out with her again honestly depends on the sex. If it was great, I'll call her again. If it's meh, it would then go to how the conversation was before and how the date progressed. Respect-wise, I wouldn't respect a woman any less for something I would do—and did with her, actually."

Guy 4: "If I had sex with a woman on the first date, I wouldn't respect her less. I'd just want to have more sex! The only thing that would make me feel weird and probably not get in touch would be if we were having a crummy date and already didn't have a connection but then had sex anyway. If we had great sex, then I'd want to see her again."
Are there some guys who make it their mission to bed women and then, the second dawn breaks the next day, move onto the next? Definitely, and I can see how that idea might put you off having first-date sex. But I'm of the opinion that if a guy is mature (and a feminist), having sex on the first date won't immediately kill his interest in you.Awful sex on the first date might, but the actual sex-having shouldn't. Of course, if you're more comfortable waiting for whatever reason (including that you worry he wouldn't still be into you), that is 100 percent OK!
The bottom line: Wait if you want to. Don't wait if you don't. At the end of the day, when you decide to have sex should be about what makes you feel good about yourself. Knowing what men think is useful as all get-out, but staying true to yourself is what matters most.
What do you think about having sex on the first date? And if he calls you after the first date, that's an obvious sign he's digging you. Here are a few more:
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